In India, honking horns while driving is not just a signal of annoyance, but it conveys a lot more. To be truthful, the traffic remains chaotic, so honking horns comes in no use to regulate it. And you should know that the person in front of you will make no efforts to even budge, although he would know very well that you are having a trouble while driving. So it is best to make you own way in the traffic. However, the creativity of India finds ways to use “horns” to its optimum! It is a way to let out almost all the possible feelings of the world, be it pleasure, anger (not on traffic but maybe the person sitting behind), excitement, love and what not!
People find it a source of entertainment when they have nothing else to do while driving. So, they come up with amazing tunes to keep the whole traffic entertained. Plus, there is a wide range of extra-loud horns in the market for the “youths” who want to make their presence “heard” in the chaos! Plus these creative minds toot horns to eve-tease girls and who knows?!?! It could be a start for several Indian love stories.
And the fascination for honking is not just restricted to the youths of my country! It enthralls one and all irrespective of their age. The traffic is lifeless and dull without the noise around.
The most interesting thing about this its promotion by trucks and heavy-load vehicles! I mean, the colourful boards which convey other fellow drivers to honk, saying “HORN PLEASE!” are seriously eye-catching! And who would not obey the repetitive instructions when everybody finds it rather enjoyable to do.
It makes me feel that every Indian is born with the right to honk and finds ultimate delight in doing so. Is it still not a fundamental right of the citizens??? I hardly doubt it!
P.S: Well, I have to admit, you somehow get an inexplicable pleasure in doing so, a surge of happiness that makes you believe that you own the road and the city. Hehehe… So have a happy honking time folks!
Editted to add: I was just listening to some random hindi songs when I came across a Govinda song with some weird lyrics like, "maine paidal se ja rahi thi, unhe auto se aa rahi thi, kiya ting ting ka ishara, mujhe badnam kiya na!" YUCK.... But it clearly gives the evidence that horns surely are one of the most important objects of keeping the traffic entertained!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Is it just me?
Is it just me?!?!
Or do you also remember our endless talks for many sleepless nights,
And our conversations which used to end up in silly love fights.
Do you miss the times when we held each other’s hands?
Or the sunshine when we walked on rough sands.
Have you kept the poems I had written for you,
Or cherish the memories of our relationship which we thought was everlasting and true!
Do you remember the smile on my face whenever you were around?
And when I call out to you loud, do you hear faintest of the sound?
Do you miss me when you look at the twinkling stars in the sky?
Or sometimes desperately feel to give ‘us’ another try!
Do you ever look at the photos of us together and silently smile?
Or feel incomplete without having me in your life?
Do you lose track of time while blankly staring at the wall?
Or wait for long hours near the phone, expecting my call?
Do you ever listen to the songs you had dedicated to me under the mango tree?
And does this silence pain you as much as it pains me?
Do you ever miss playing with the locks of my hair?
Do you ever get lost in the crowd, hoping to find me somewhere?
Do you ever dream to see the sunset with me again?
Or long to curl up with me whenever it rains?
Do you ever wish to hold me tight on a windy weather?
Do you also pray every second for us to be together?
Or is it just me?
Or do you also remember our endless talks for many sleepless nights,
And our conversations which used to end up in silly love fights.
Do you miss the times when we held each other’s hands?
Or the sunshine when we walked on rough sands.
Have you kept the poems I had written for you,
Or cherish the memories of our relationship which we thought was everlasting and true!
Do you remember the smile on my face whenever you were around?
And when I call out to you loud, do you hear faintest of the sound?
Do you miss me when you look at the twinkling stars in the sky?
Or sometimes desperately feel to give ‘us’ another try!
Do you ever look at the photos of us together and silently smile?
Or feel incomplete without having me in your life?
Do you lose track of time while blankly staring at the wall?
Or wait for long hours near the phone, expecting my call?
Do you ever listen to the songs you had dedicated to me under the mango tree?
And does this silence pain you as much as it pains me?
Do you ever miss playing with the locks of my hair?
Do you ever get lost in the crowd, hoping to find me somewhere?
Do you ever dream to see the sunset with me again?
Or long to curl up with me whenever it rains?
Do you ever wish to hold me tight on a windy weather?
Do you also pray every second for us to be together?
Or is it just me?
A page from Jennifer's diary
I was heart-broken and shattered when I had failed to find love for me in the eyes of the one I loved. I felt insecure and exposed to the harsh world. I wanted to protect myself from getting hurt in love. I thought the best way for it would be to hibernate, to cover myself in a tough shell, a shell of protection around me which ensured that nobody could get close enough to hurt me.
But maybe pain is inevitable. The shell around me started diluting in Peter’s presence. Instead of being the tough girl I was, I started being delicate whenever he was around, for him to take care of me. I considered him to be special and magical to have been able to break my wall of insecurity.
I never knew or realised but in no time I had totally linked myself to him. He was the only reason for my happiness and his happiness was my only concern. And gradually he became my weakness. Maybe he realised it too. Unaware or aware of it, he started using this for his advantage, for his convenience.
Initially I had no problem with it. I just wanted to be with him. But as time went on, it became really hard for me to manage his mood shifts and work accordingly. I was losing my identity. I was not an individual anymore, everything I had was his. “I” was his! Completely.
The worst part of the situation was that he knew that I was nothing without him and I knew that I was nothing for him. It was a painful comprehension. He started becoming increasingly agitated at simple things and I constantly felt like a burden on him. It was as if I was pleading him to stay with me while he was merely doing me a favour by being there. What hurt the most was that whenever I tried voicing it out I was entirely blamed for all the spats in our relationship. I was accused guilty for all the quarrels and distances.
I constantly suffered for not being me, for always stopping myself to let out my feelings, for persistently trying to somehow work out the relationship and for continually failing to do so.
Maybe I had overdone it when he was not prepared for it. Or maybe it was the other way round.
Whatever the case was, we had failed to reach out to each other as we had expected and had left a gap in between us which was almost impossible to fill in. We were falling apart. Both of us were helpless. We had to separate our ways. It was really painful. By that time he had become a part of me without whom I was incomplete. I was difficult for me to tear myself away from him.
I lost count of the days after that when I hibernated myself before I could move on. I could not stop tears from rolling out of my eyes. My own tears felt like burning flames on my cheeks and like bullets when the dropped off from the bottom of my chin after clinging there for a long time. As each day passed, I felt completely drained out with no hope to get my life going. That was an abrupt unexpected pause in my life and everything around me seemed static.
I was wounded when I first fell in love but Peter had given me hope that it would not happen again. Peter had healed me from my first wound only to be again scathed, ripped apart, leaving me more miserable than before. When I had somehow adjusted myself to the loneliness, he came into my life to show me the wonders of love, giving me a reason to live and then suddenly shattered all my dreams to bitter truth.
I still am grateful to Peter for lifting me up when I had fallen from great expectations of my first love but he always made me realise the fact that he was the reason for my happiness. He took credit for all my happiness. I was sensitive to his regular reminders that I was incomplete without him.
But all that is past. I have come over all of it now. There is again warmth inside my heart. I have learnt to live life now. I have removed all the barriers, all the walls around me which had previously restricted me to trust people and connect to them. Now I make sure that there is never only one person I am attached to, only one reason for my happiness. I have learnt to occupy myself with more than one person so that there is always support beneath me. Moreover I have learnt to support myself.
I have realised that I should not lean entirely on a single being making it difficult for him to bear the weight.
More importantly I have forgiven Peter for whatever happened in the past, because it was partly his fault and partly mine. So we should share the blame too.
But maybe pain is inevitable. The shell around me started diluting in Peter’s presence. Instead of being the tough girl I was, I started being delicate whenever he was around, for him to take care of me. I considered him to be special and magical to have been able to break my wall of insecurity.
I never knew or realised but in no time I had totally linked myself to him. He was the only reason for my happiness and his happiness was my only concern. And gradually he became my weakness. Maybe he realised it too. Unaware or aware of it, he started using this for his advantage, for his convenience.
Initially I had no problem with it. I just wanted to be with him. But as time went on, it became really hard for me to manage his mood shifts and work accordingly. I was losing my identity. I was not an individual anymore, everything I had was his. “I” was his! Completely.
The worst part of the situation was that he knew that I was nothing without him and I knew that I was nothing for him. It was a painful comprehension. He started becoming increasingly agitated at simple things and I constantly felt like a burden on him. It was as if I was pleading him to stay with me while he was merely doing me a favour by being there. What hurt the most was that whenever I tried voicing it out I was entirely blamed for all the spats in our relationship. I was accused guilty for all the quarrels and distances.
I constantly suffered for not being me, for always stopping myself to let out my feelings, for persistently trying to somehow work out the relationship and for continually failing to do so.
Maybe I had overdone it when he was not prepared for it. Or maybe it was the other way round.
Whatever the case was, we had failed to reach out to each other as we had expected and had left a gap in between us which was almost impossible to fill in. We were falling apart. Both of us were helpless. We had to separate our ways. It was really painful. By that time he had become a part of me without whom I was incomplete. I was difficult for me to tear myself away from him.
I lost count of the days after that when I hibernated myself before I could move on. I could not stop tears from rolling out of my eyes. My own tears felt like burning flames on my cheeks and like bullets when the dropped off from the bottom of my chin after clinging there for a long time. As each day passed, I felt completely drained out with no hope to get my life going. That was an abrupt unexpected pause in my life and everything around me seemed static.
I was wounded when I first fell in love but Peter had given me hope that it would not happen again. Peter had healed me from my first wound only to be again scathed, ripped apart, leaving me more miserable than before. When I had somehow adjusted myself to the loneliness, he came into my life to show me the wonders of love, giving me a reason to live and then suddenly shattered all my dreams to bitter truth.
I still am grateful to Peter for lifting me up when I had fallen from great expectations of my first love but he always made me realise the fact that he was the reason for my happiness. He took credit for all my happiness. I was sensitive to his regular reminders that I was incomplete without him.
But all that is past. I have come over all of it now. There is again warmth inside my heart. I have learnt to live life now. I have removed all the barriers, all the walls around me which had previously restricted me to trust people and connect to them. Now I make sure that there is never only one person I am attached to, only one reason for my happiness. I have learnt to occupy myself with more than one person so that there is always support beneath me. Moreover I have learnt to support myself.
I have realised that I should not lean entirely on a single being making it difficult for him to bear the weight.
More importantly I have forgiven Peter for whatever happened in the past, because it was partly his fault and partly mine. So we should share the blame too.
The pain of warmth!
Betty. Betty was a strong girl. Never did a tear roll from her eyes in the past seven years while she was tortured every second of her life. She had been captured by a group of refugees and had been used to fulfil their desires of you-know-what time and again. Yet she never quivered, never did she lose faith in God and always hoped to free herself. And then, without notice, she got a chance to escape. She was wise enough not to lose the opportunity. She freed herself from the chains of torment she was tied to, all these years. She escaped, escaped far away never to be caught again. At first she ran aimlessly without knowing where to go. It has been years since she had seen sunlight. It felt like thousands of needles poking her in spite of the pain she endured all these years. She had never felt this weak in all those seven years.
“You don’t look well. Is everything alright? Do you need help?” She was amazed to hear those words. She had never been talked to like this since ages. She had almost forgotten goodwill and compassion. She looked scared. The stranger was rather shocked by her silence and his curiosity grew. He was genuinely concerned for her and was sure she needed help. But he knew it was not the perfect time to ask her what had happened. That could be left for some other time. So being very careful, he slowly moved close to her and gave her his coat. She seemed to appreciate the effort. He knew he was gaining her trust, but Betty was still not prepared to trust someone this early. He gently asked her to come along with him to the nearby restaurant and have something to eat. With wavering steps Betty followed. They went inside silently, without uttering a single word. Betty seated herself at the edge of the sofa.
“I am Mark”, finally said the stranger after several minutes of silence. Betty did not respond. It looked as if she was unaware of Mark´s presence. Again silence conquered the space between them for the next half-an-hour. Mark didn’t mind the silence; he wanted to give her enough time and space to open up, while Betty stared blankly at her bare feet. Finally she glanced over to see Mark´s face. He looked handsome, with smooth face-cuts and a distinctive jaw-line almost making his face-angle two-dimensional. His gleaming eyes were presently filled with mixed emotions of curiosity, concern and confusion. He looked harmless. Suddenly, as if like lightning she got all her senses back. She was used to bear so much pain that it didn’t seem to pain her further after sometime. But today looking at the tenderness of a complete stranger she felt back her pain. She realised what she had been missing all this time. As if the warmth was too affectionate to take. It made her weak. It made her pity herself for what she had gone through. It was like spraying hot water suddenly on a thing which had been frozen for a long time. It was painful to become supple again after years of being hardened. The pain had hardened her heart, her soul. The warmth was softening the hard envelope but it was unbearable. She had forced herself to become numb but now she was gaining back her senses. And suddenly she sensed something warm in her cheeks. She didn’t realise what it was. She touched her cheeks with her fingers, and was amazed to see it humid. She was surprised to see the drop of tear which had been suppressed since countless time. She was becoming a woman again but this time she was prepared.
“You don’t look well. Is everything alright? Do you need help?” She was amazed to hear those words. She had never been talked to like this since ages. She had almost forgotten goodwill and compassion. She looked scared. The stranger was rather shocked by her silence and his curiosity grew. He was genuinely concerned for her and was sure she needed help. But he knew it was not the perfect time to ask her what had happened. That could be left for some other time. So being very careful, he slowly moved close to her and gave her his coat. She seemed to appreciate the effort. He knew he was gaining her trust, but Betty was still not prepared to trust someone this early. He gently asked her to come along with him to the nearby restaurant and have something to eat. With wavering steps Betty followed. They went inside silently, without uttering a single word. Betty seated herself at the edge of the sofa.
“I am Mark”, finally said the stranger after several minutes of silence. Betty did not respond. It looked as if she was unaware of Mark´s presence. Again silence conquered the space between them for the next half-an-hour. Mark didn’t mind the silence; he wanted to give her enough time and space to open up, while Betty stared blankly at her bare feet. Finally she glanced over to see Mark´s face. He looked handsome, with smooth face-cuts and a distinctive jaw-line almost making his face-angle two-dimensional. His gleaming eyes were presently filled with mixed emotions of curiosity, concern and confusion. He looked harmless. Suddenly, as if like lightning she got all her senses back. She was used to bear so much pain that it didn’t seem to pain her further after sometime. But today looking at the tenderness of a complete stranger she felt back her pain. She realised what she had been missing all this time. As if the warmth was too affectionate to take. It made her weak. It made her pity herself for what she had gone through. It was like spraying hot water suddenly on a thing which had been frozen for a long time. It was painful to become supple again after years of being hardened. The pain had hardened her heart, her soul. The warmth was softening the hard envelope but it was unbearable. She had forced herself to become numb but now she was gaining back her senses. And suddenly she sensed something warm in her cheeks. She didn’t realise what it was. She touched her cheeks with her fingers, and was amazed to see it humid. She was surprised to see the drop of tear which had been suppressed since countless time. She was becoming a woman again but this time she was prepared.
Death before Life
Death before life
There was once a beautiful girl to be born,
To be the world’s princess, for the word to adorn.
She would have ruled the world with her charming smile,
To make everyone gawp and admire her unique style.
But her fate was pitiable and forlorn,
She had less of roses on her way and more of thorns.
Nobody wanted to have her in this world,
Her destiny slashed her dreams away, and her mind swirled.
She cried, she begged and she pleaded for mercy,
To let her be born to the deserving and the worthy.
She promised to be benevolent, and spread love everywhere,
To be helpful to the needy and shower them with care.
She would not let anyone down and fulfill everyone’s dreams,
But nobody heard any of her pathetic screams.
She was hurt, broken, with all her dreams lost.
Fatigue got her and she had to exhaust.
As she struggled incessantly for her life, for her breath,
She had no other option, but face her death.
Soon she was in God’s hands, feeling lonely and rejected,
God tried cheering her up, but she still felt neglected.
She glanced at god’s eyes and began to weep,
Her eyes were red and she cried herself to sleep.
Why did nobody want to have such an angel?
Who was confident, charming, loving and able.
Being a girl was a boon and not her fault,
Then why did she have face such kind of assault?
Nobody got to understand her worth,
She was brutally killed before her birth.
She could have been someone’s destiny, somebody’s life,
If only she could have had a chance to survive.
There was once a beautiful girl to be born,
To be the world’s princess, for the word to adorn.
She would have ruled the world with her charming smile,
To make everyone gawp and admire her unique style.
But her fate was pitiable and forlorn,
She had less of roses on her way and more of thorns.
Nobody wanted to have her in this world,
Her destiny slashed her dreams away, and her mind swirled.
She cried, she begged and she pleaded for mercy,
To let her be born to the deserving and the worthy.
She promised to be benevolent, and spread love everywhere,
To be helpful to the needy and shower them with care.
She would not let anyone down and fulfill everyone’s dreams,
But nobody heard any of her pathetic screams.
She was hurt, broken, with all her dreams lost.
Fatigue got her and she had to exhaust.
As she struggled incessantly for her life, for her breath,
She had no other option, but face her death.
Soon she was in God’s hands, feeling lonely and rejected,
God tried cheering her up, but she still felt neglected.
She glanced at god’s eyes and began to weep,
Her eyes were red and she cried herself to sleep.
Why did nobody want to have such an angel?
Who was confident, charming, loving and able.
Being a girl was a boon and not her fault,
Then why did she have face such kind of assault?
Nobody got to understand her worth,
She was brutally killed before her birth.
She could have been someone’s destiny, somebody’s life,
If only she could have had a chance to survive.
A Question of Faith!
The existence of God is not a miracle, it is the faith people have in god. The thing I find most surprising is the bond that connects several billions of people to nothingness. I was always curious to know the reason for the belief people have in god and finally came up with a satisfactory answer. I figured out that man is too weak to support himself throughout his life and hence needs a superior power to depend upon and put (at least partially) the blames of his misfortunes, discomfort and miseries. This superior power is required to keep his spirits up even in the bluest of days and keep him hoping for a better day. More importantly it is something/someone who he can fear, to keep him in control and stay human. Plus, this nothingness also proves to be a patient listener for his secret desires and share man’s happiness and sorrows. Man has named this non-existent, flawless entity as God and it’s the best company man can ever get. It ultimately is a way to attain peace of mind, in whichever way one finds it best. This emptiness is so wonderful that nobody questions its existence, as it is a source of support to everybody. It is an answer to every mystery unsolved.
What interests me further are the practices and customs linked with God. However pointless they might be, they make the whole concept of god look real. All the temples, mosques, churches and gurudwaras have an air of sanctity around it. All the shlokas and prayers are looked upon as divine and actually help people get tranquility. Since the whole society believes in it, the entire theory of a divinity gets so powerful that you can feel its presence everywhere and cannot ignore it. It has so strongly embedded in the society that even if you have no faith, you have to abide to certain rules that relate other people to god. Such things make life more lively and vibrant to an extent. However sometimes people tend to forget the main reason for having this spiritual way to attain peace and ironically get into petty fights over the god they worship. They overlook the meaning for god’s presence. People get obsessed with what they believe in, and disregard others beliefs. That is the only drawback in the entire concept. If people can have a broader mindset, faith in god can really work wonders and can prove to be the ultimate support to mankind.:)
What interests me further are the practices and customs linked with God. However pointless they might be, they make the whole concept of god look real. All the temples, mosques, churches and gurudwaras have an air of sanctity around it. All the shlokas and prayers are looked upon as divine and actually help people get tranquility. Since the whole society believes in it, the entire theory of a divinity gets so powerful that you can feel its presence everywhere and cannot ignore it. It has so strongly embedded in the society that even if you have no faith, you have to abide to certain rules that relate other people to god. Such things make life more lively and vibrant to an extent. However sometimes people tend to forget the main reason for having this spiritual way to attain peace and ironically get into petty fights over the god they worship. They overlook the meaning for god’s presence. People get obsessed with what they believe in, and disregard others beliefs. That is the only drawback in the entire concept. If people can have a broader mindset, faith in god can really work wonders and can prove to be the ultimate support to mankind.:)
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